Charlie Brooker and Stevie Wonder

Charlie Brooker’s Screen Burn column was always a good reason to buy The Guardian on a Saturday but with the advent of this internet thing you don’t even need to buy the thing. And it’s legal apparently. But never before have I realised that it is actually me who is Charlie Brooker. Yes, I’m not John King at all.

Anybody who’s knows me well probably remembers my dish of the day was always a Frey Bentos pie. There was always at least 5 of them stacked high in my kitchen cupboard. Now days I know how to cook real food. I’m also a big fan of The Wire and think it’s the best thing thats been on TV for over 10 years, well US TV anyway. Here’s part of Charlie Brooker’s latest Screen Burn column.

“You know what I miss? Fray Bentos steak and ale pies. I haven’t had one in years. But as a student, I ate them all the time. I thought they represented grown-up cooking. After all, this wasn’t your average takeaway slop. No. A Fray Bentos supper required preparation and patience. You had to shear the lid off with a tin opener, and chuck the pie in the oven for half an hour. The end result was sublime.

Except it wasn’t. Having wolfed down better, fresher meals since then, I now realise that what I was eating tasted like piping-hot dog food by comparison. At the time I just didn’t know any better. Now I couldn’t face one. I’ve been spoiled. You can’t go home again.

I’m starting to wonder if obsessively watching The Wire – a show I’ve recently revisited as a result of doing a short programme about it (Tapping The Wire, Mon, 9pm, FX) – has similarly spoiled me in terms of TV drama. By now, the sound of yet another person blasting on about how good The Wire is probably makes you want to yawn your soul apart, but really it’s so absorbing, so labyrinthine and bloody-minded, it makes almost everything else seem a bit… well, a bit Fray Bentos.”

Oh, and here’s your Stevie Wonder. Just check out this drum solo: