“The next time I have to come in here I’m crackin’ skulls.”

US actor Paul Gleason, whose most famous roles included Trading Places and The Breakfast Club, has died of a rare form of lung cancer aged 67.

Richard Vernon: That’s the last time, Bender. That the last time you ever make me look bad in front of those kids, you hear me? I make $31,000 a year and I have a home and I’m not throwing it all away on some punk like you. But someday when you’re outta here and forgotten about this place and they forgotten about you, and you’re wrpped up in your own pathetic life, I’m gonna be there. That’s right. And I’m gonna kick the living shit out of you. I’m gonna knock your dick in the dirt.
Bender: You threating me?
Richard Vernon: What are you gonna do about it? You think anyone’s gonna believe you? You think anyone gonna take your word over mine? I’m a man of respect around here. They love me. I’m a swell guy. You’re a lying sack of monkey shit, and everyone knows about it. Oh, you’re a tough guy. Hey c’mon. Get on your feet pal! Let’s find out how tough you are. I wanna know how tough you are. Let’s go. C’mon man, just take the first shot. I’m begging you, take the first shot. Just take one good swing…
[Bender pauses, staring]
Richard Vernon: Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’re a gutless turd.

I caught up with Graham Duff, writer and star of BBC Three’s IDEAL last night at the Koba on Western Road.

Okay, so he’s not in Heat magazine every week but he does play the funniest character in my favourite comedy series, the ultra-gay Brian. I was suprised that he doesn’t sound camp at all. He may not even be gay!
I was just leaving when I met him and I forgot to ask him about the posibility of a Season three, but fingers crossed, they will carry this show on. He’s a very friendly guy.

For a great Bird’s Eye view of Brighton check out Microsoft’s Virtual Earth. I’m still upset that Google Earth doesn’t cover Brighton in detail but this makes up for it!

For a brilliant alternative map of Brighton check out the one at www.drinkinbrighton.com. Its 1280×1024 for your PC’s wallpaper.

Spotted by me on Western Road yesterday, Preston and Chantelle. Couldn’t get my camera out in time though.

This is why I will never buy the Mirror ever again.

Have a play with newspaper inches and the World Cup with the BBC’s World Cup DAQ. Get in now for a chance to win the prize. I’ll be comparing results over the next month.

Shoes music video by Kelly Likes Shoes (contains swearing). I’m loving this weird-ass homemade freak stuff.

More music and images. This time it’s a graphical representation of musical harmonics where maths meets music. Whitney Music Box.

And for Christians, a postal service for after the Apocalypse. Presenting Post-Rapture Post.

This Thursday at The Koba (on Western Road) sees the latest event put on by Plenty More Fish In The Sea. Not quite speed dating and not as tacky as a singles night this is more like a club night for non-couples.

If you want to get your Bank Holiday weekend off to a good start then come on down. There’s DJ Agent T on the decks and it’ll be a relaxed and informal atmosphere.

Tickets are £7 from plentymorefishinthesea@fsmail.net or a tenner on the door. Last time the place was rocking and everyone had a great time. See you there!

My Photoshop punnage continues. Groan at will.

Apologies for putting this in the ‘funny’ category.

Check out the superb Saddam and Osama Cartoon!

The Isle Of Thanet, where I grew up, could have been called The Isle of Death if historians are to be believed. Actually, you’ld probably call it that if you took a day trip there in the Winter. Check the BBC history video out (choose ‘The Isle of Death’ at the top right of that page). And yes, that is what people in Thanet sound like.

Police Officers discovered a sex cult in Darlington based around a 60’s science fiction novel. The group, called Kaotians, follow the Chronicles of Gor novels which depict a society where women are dominated. Quote: “But the majority of women in our organisation are obviously slaves because women have a submissive streak in them.” It’s always the same, I always find out about these sex cults after they hit the news. BBC News and The Sun.

And I hope you’re reading this website using Firefox and not Internet Explorer. Here’s an article on why Microsoft shot themselves in the foot by continuing to make IE instead of focussing on their operating systems. To download Firefox easily and for free then click the little Firefox button at the top right of my website.

I was sure I’ve seen that cabbies face before and I’m right. He was an old boyfriend of Lori’s.

And its pretty obvious to me why he’s pulling that face.

Oh, and breaking news: Sir Paul McCartney and Heather Mills are to divorce. She probably didn’t like the last plane he bought her.

The old ones are the old ones as they say.

But this is a bit weird, from the BBC website it says: “Mills formed the Heather Mills Health Trust, recycling prosthetic limbs and campaigning against landmines, after being hit by a police motorcycle as she crossed a road in 1993.” I’m sure if I got run over by a motorbike I’d start campaigning against landmines too!

Well I’m gutted but the I’m so proud of the way we played. I hope the West Ham boys are all proud of their efforts as they gave us the most entertaining FA Cup final I’ve ever seen. Well done Liverpool.

As Hanson says, “This was one of the classic Cup finals and it is desperately unfortunate that they should lose on penalties. West Ham were the better side and should have won, but Liverpool had Steven Gerrard.”

And…

My friend Tony Pitt side-projects just get weirder and weirder. Check out his giant Munchie at Pimp My Snack.

And I presume EVERYBODY has seen this already but if you haven’t here’s the Cabbie who ended up talking about Apple on BBC News 24. Ha, still makes me laugh.

This is for the typonerds out there. Notice how the clock on 24 changes ever so slightly? Well obviously not as we have better things to do.

I made the unfortunate decision to get drunk yesterday so I’m watching the FA Cup at home and nursing my hangover. This way I do actually get to listen to all the commentary and pre-match build up, which for once I’m actually interested in.

West Ham could really do this. We have the correct mentality but we’ll see today if we have the skill.

My money, literally, is on Nigel Reo Coker to score first. There’s a bonus multiplier if Liverpool win 2-1.